Nightmares
by Chicago-pd-fire-is-life
Summary: Jay has a secret only his best friend knows about. So when something happens this secret becomes public and intelligence is there to help. Sorry. Im crappy at summaries. This is my first fanfic. Go easy on me.
1. BadDay

The intelligence unit was sitting around in the bullpen waiting for a case when jay stormed in and went straight to the locker room, ignoring the concerned eyes following him. The team knew it was a tough day for him, even if they didn't know why. He had been like this every time this day came around each year for the last 4 years, and the year before he hadn't even shown up to work. Mouse had had to track his phone and find out why he hadn't shown up, so he is the only other person that knows about it. With Jays PTSD issues, they knew not to push the subject but they were all curious.

Vought came out of his office. "We have a case". Everyone gathered around the board, except Jay, who had still not returned from the locker room. "Firehouse 51 responded to a warehouse fire this morning and found a young girl, maybe 13 years old". Voight stuck an image of the girl on the board. She looked terrible. The photo had obviously been taken at the hospital before they got a chance to clean her up. She was covered in ash, however you could still see the cuts and bruises all over her face, blood was weeping out from somewhere under her hairline and her left eye was puffy. This girl had clearly been through hell.

"61 took her to Med as a Jane Doe", Voight continued, "but I want a name, I want family, and I want to know how long she's been missing, cause I can guarantee someone is looking for her. Mouse, run her through facial, see if you can get a hit. Mouse? MOUSE?" No one had noticed mouse slowly moving towards the board and gently taking down the picture and now staring at it intently, blocking out all the sound around him. He hadn't heard a thing voight had said until he was yelling his name.

"What?" Mouse said without looking up, however it didn't go unnoticed that his voice cracked slightly.

"Run this picture through facial and see if she is in the system".

"She's not" Mouse said, his voice getting close to a whisper.

What do you mean she's not. You haven't even checked yet. There was a long pause as Mouse continued to study the image. "I don't need to" Mouse finally looked up and the team saw why his voice had cracked. He had tears running down his face and the team was shocked. Mouse, the soldier, had never been affected by a case like this before. There had to be something more. As footsteps were heard, the team turned slightly to see jay coming back from the locker room, stopping as he saw the confused faces of intelligence and finally he's eyes rested on mouses tear streamed face.

"Did we get a case? Are you good Mouse?" Mouse shook his head and slowly stretched his arm out to hand jay the picture, who took it hesitantly, with an almost questioning look on his face. The other bodies in the room became unknown to the two as jay looked down at the paper, stared at it for a second, then looked back to mould for confirmation, which he got along with teary eyes and one word.

"Med"

Within 30 seconds jay had grabbed his keys and almost sprinted down the stairs, not even grabbing his jacket for the intense Chicago cold, letting the gate slam shut behind him, and leaving everyone in the bullpen even more confused than from what mouse had said to voight.

"Mouse who is she", Hailey asked tentatively

"His sister"


	2. NewInsight

There was about a minute of silence while the shock of Mouses statement sunk in.

'Jay doesn't have a sister. He would have said something', Hailey said.

'Yes he does. Her name is Ava Maria Halstead, she turns 14 next week.'

'Why didn't jay say something'

'He was ashamed. Back when Jay was working on the 36th, he was going through a pretty rough patch. He was having nightmares every night and it was scaring the crap out of her. She was only 8, she didn't know what to do about it. So she told me, I managed to convince Jay to go talk to someone. They prescribed him sleeping pills, they would keep him out all night and he wouldn't have any nightmares. One night someone broke in and snatched Ava, but Jay didn't hear a thing. Next morning he woke up and she was gone. All he found was blood. Her blood. He thinks it was his fault she got taken. He thinks that if he could have handled the nightmares better, he wouldn't have needed the pills and he would have heard them come in.'

By the end of Mouses explanation, Hailey and Rojas had tears in their eyes, and everyone else looked shell shocked.

"We're going to med, jay needs support right now and we are going to give it to him. Whatever he needs' '. Voight stated. Everyone packed up their things and within 20 minutes they were walking through the doors to the ER of Chicago Med. Mouse immediately spotted jay sitting on one of the unforgiving plastic chairs the hospital had to offer, with his head in his hands, and his body occasionally heaving as another silent sob tore through him.

Mose signalled for the team to keep their distance, as Mouse slowly made his way over sitting next to him and gently rubbing his back as they waited for who knows how long for someone to give them an update.

The others in the room carefully made their way over patting jay lightly on the back before taking a seat, letting him know they were there for him.


	3. Reunited

At least 2 hours later Conner Rhodes made his way over to the team, assuming they were here for the investigation. He began to brief them.

"She is a very lucky little girl. From the amount of abuse she endured, it is a miracle she survived as long as she did. Multiple cracked ribs, lacerations on her head and chest most likely from a beating, abrasions on both her wrists and ankles for being tied up for so long. She was starved a lot which would explain why she is so small. She was also raped repeatedly, by different people, we ran a kit and had to repair some of the damage that they caused, but she's alive. There is going to be a lot of emotional damage though. Have you been able to get an ID, if not we can run her blood?" Voight nodded before he stood up and pulled Conner aside, explaining as little of the story as he could so that the doctor could get a decent background. Conner was shocked and he stole a glance back at jay, who still had mouses hand on his back and hadn't moved since they got here.

He agreed that because of the situation that jay can go and be with her so he lead him to her room.

"I'm going to warn you, it looks pretty bad. But she's so strong, and she is going to need you and will, so you have to be strong for her too. It is going to take time, it's going to be hard but you can't give up on her," jay was nodding slowly, to show that he understood, and he was too scared to open his mouth because he thought they would throw up. "She is awake now, just be careful. She wasn't to keen on men being near her when she was brought in." Jay gave one final nod as thanks before the doctor walked away and jay slowly opened the door.

There lying on the bed, was his sweet, beautiful little sister, looking so weak and vulnerable, staring back up at him. She had clearly been crying, and not without good reason.

"Jay" she cried and reached out for him and he quickly approached her and pulled her into a hug, noticing how she flinched slightly in his grasp, and she was continuously muttering 'I'm sorry' into his chest. Pulling back slightly he looked her straight in the eyes, seeing the fear reflecting off them which made him want to cry even harder.

"Listen to me, this is not your fault. It was mine. Okay? You are so strong and brave. Don't ever for one minute think that it was your fault." She nodded. "I love you, never ever forget that please."

"I love you too jay". Ava curled up into jays side with her head on his chest and closed her eyes, both hoping for a peaceful sleep for the first time in five years.


	4. HereForYou

When Jay woke up later that day, he smiled to himself as he remembered who was lying next to him, then he remembered why he had woken up. He could feel Ava thrashing beside him. She was having a nightmare. Jay gently shook her as to wake her but not to scare her anymore than she already was. She was now screaming "no more" and "stop please", before sitting up quickly, shaking, sweating and crying, looking around wildly until she saw her brother. She launched herself into his arms, wrapping hers around him, sobs shaking her body.

'It's ok, it's ok. Your safe now, it's over', jay said, crying to console his sister.

'Mousey', she cried, 'I want Mousey, please I have to see him'.

Ok, I'm going to go get him but I'm going to get someone to sit with you first'. Jay got a nurse who was passing to sit with Ava until he could return with her request. He wasn't exactly ok with leaving her so soon after getting her back, but he wanted her to feel safe and happy.

As Jay came out to the waiting room he saw the whole team was still sitting in the chairs. They all stood up when they saw him.

'How is she' mouse asked.

Jay shrugged, 'she's alive. She wants to see you, room 236'. Mouse walked away quickly.

'We are taking her case' Voight said. 'When she's ready, Upton and Rojas can get her statement and we can go from there.'

'Thanks guys. You don't need to stay though, I'm sure you all have better things to do.'

'We are staying here for you. Also I want to meet mini halstead. I need to know how she put up with you for so long. Jays phone started to ring. It was Mouse. Jay started panicking.

'Is she ok', was the first thing he said.

'Yeah she's fine. I was telling her that we are taking her case and when she is ready she can give her statement. She wants to do it now, get it over with.' Mouse said.

Ok, I guess I'll bring them up now.' He hung up. She wants to do it now if you can". Jay hailey and Vanessa headed towards Ava's room where they could hear her and mouse laughing. They entered the room but the girls hung back a little until Ava gave a small smile and then they pulled up chairs next to her bed.

'Ava this is Hailey and Vanessa. They are going to ask you a few questions ok.' Ava nodded, her eyes shooting nervously between mouse and jay.

'Monkey we don't have to stay if you don't want us to. We can wait outside.

'Can you stay. Not Mouse, just you', she said. Jay nodded and mouse left to rejoin intelligence in the waiting room.

'Okay let's do this. If you want to stop just let us know and we can try again later.' Ava nodded. 'The night you were taken, do you remember what happened?'

'I went to bed at 8:30 because I had to go to school the next day. I woke up a couple hours later because I heard glass breaking down stairs. I thought Jay was having a nightmare so I stayed in bed. But then I heard voices, there were two, but I didn't recognise them, so I made my bed and hid under it so it would look like no one was there. They came in and started trashing my room and I tried to stay really quiet but one of them looked under my bed and saw me'.

'Did you see their faces?' Vanessa asked.

'They kept masks on everyday without fail, so I wouldn't see anything, but I know that one of them had a tattoo on their neck. I saw it under his mask when he…' she trailed off. She had nearly said "when he was on top of me", but she couldn't bring herself to say it . It would make it real, and she wasn't ready for that. 'Can… can we stop. Just for a bit.'

Hailey and Vanessa stood up and left Ava with tears streaming down her face to cuddle into jays side while he rubbed her back.

'We can go home later today, and you can have a good rest. We can stop by where I work tomorrow and you can try again, ok?' Jay said. Ava nodded but didn't sleep, she actually cried herself to sleep, and jay took the opportunity to go talk to Voight. He carefully unwrapped himself from Ava's grasp and adjusted her so she would be comfortable, before leaving her with the same nurse as before.


	5. Goinghome

When jay got back to the waiting room everyone was still there. 'You guys can go now', Jay said, I'm taking her home in an hour and I'll bring her to the precinct tomorrow'. Everyone nodded and started to leave, all except Mouse who stayed behind to help his friend.

'I'm here if you need me', he said. Jay was grateful for Mouse. He didn't know if he could do this without him. Then there was a scream and both men ran back to Ava's room where they saw the nurse trying to wake her up from a nightmare but was failing miserably.

Ava was kicking around and crying. 'Nooo… please no more. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, please no'. Jay went over and sat on the bed and started shaking her and calling her name before she woke up and latched onto Jay.

'She can go home now' the nurse said before leaving the room. Jay looked up to Mouse.

Mousey is going tos stay with us for a little while, is that ok?' She nodded. 'Do want to go home now' he asked. Again she just nodded.

Ava hadn't spoken since she tried to give her statement and it was worrying him a little. Jay stood up and helped Ava out of the bed, but after seeing the way she winced he decided he would carry her. She was silent the whole ride home and Mouse sat in the back with her. They were halfway home when jay realised he had forgotten to grab his house keys in his rush to see his sister.

'Shit', Ava noticeably jumped at his outburst. 'Sorry monkey, were going to have to stop at the district on the way home because I left my keys there. Mouse can you call Voight and let him know we are coming?' He decided to text Voight instead, so that Ava wouldn't be disturbed.

'Do you think I can try again when we get there.' She said.

'You have to, okay. You can take as much time as you need'. Jay said

'I know, but I think 5 years has been long enough.' She said. Jay nodded, not knowing what to say.

When they got there, jay went around to pick up Ava, however she refused and said she wanted to walk. So the three of them walked up the front steps to the 21st district.


	6. Ready

The foyer was quite busy with officers coming back into drop off the keys to their rigs after the days shift, and other citizens who were there of their own volition. There were a fair few eyes cast their way as they wade their way over to stage the platt so she could buzz them up.

'Chuckles, Mouse,' Platt nodded at them. 'And who is this cutie' she added with a smile. Ava, who had been wearily throwing her eyes around the room making sure none of them men looked like they were getting too close, looked up to the nice lady and gave a small smile, but still didn't have the courage to speak.

'This is Ava', jay said. 'She's my sister'.

Platt looked shocked. Clearly no one had bothered to fill her in on the situation. 'Oh... ok. Well it's very nice to meet you miss Ava. Make sure you let me know if these two knuckle heads give you any trouble.' The young Halstead managed a slightly bigger smile to show she understood. She liked this lady. There was a loud buzz which made her jump and latch onto jays hand.

'Hey… it's okay. She was just opening the door so we can go upstairs.' Ava nodded but didn't let go of Jays hand, as if she didn't entirely believe what he was saying. The trio headed up the stairs slowly as Ava was still sore, unsurprisingly. When Mouse texted voight he had told them all to be on their best behaviour and not be too loud so as not to spook Ava. It was a miracle they listened.

At the top of tails Ava stood slightly behind jay as he addressed everyone, kind of scared by the men in the room. She knew if they worked with her brother they must be nice people but the idea of being so close to them wasn't exactly calming for her.

'Guys this is Ava, my sister. Ava this is Adam, Antonio, Kevin, Al and Kim.' He pointed them out. 'And you remember Hailey and Vanessa', she nodded. 'And this is Sergeant Voight, my boss.' Jay bent down and spoke quietly to Ava. 'It's okay, there are a big bunch of goofs, but they will not hurt you ok. She nodded. Can you stay with Mousey for a minute so I can talk to Hailey. I promise I'll be right back.' She nodded again and went to go sit on Mouses lap at his desk. Jay and Hailey went into the break room and shut the door.

'Do you want to watch some funny cat videos, I know they are your favourite.' Ava nodded and smiled while mouse pulled the up on his laptop.

Break room

'She wants to keep going with her statement but I don't think she will do it with me in there, can you just keep an eye on her, make sure she's not pushing too far.' Jay said.

'Yeah I've got her,' Hailey said. 'We won't put her in the interrogation room, we can bring her in here so we don't scare her anymore.'

'Thankyou'.

They opened the door and Jay went back over to Ava who was laughing quietly at the videos.

'You ready?' He asked. She nodded and took his hand and they went towards the break room Hailey was in there Vanessa.

'Hey. Do you want Jay to stay?' Hailey asked. Ava looked at the floor. She didn't really want Jay to stay because she didn't want him to hear what she was going to say.

'Hey look at me. It's ok. If you want me to go outside I can go talk to Mouse, ok?' She nodded and he took that as his cue to leave, closing the door behind him, sighing heavily.

'How' she doing,' Antonio asked.

'God I don't even know' Jay said.


	7. Triggers

Ava's P.O.V

'You ready', Vanessa asked. I nodded. I wasn't really but I needed to get it done. I needed to move on.

'Before' Hailey started, 'you said you saw he had a tattoo, what did it look like.'

'It sort of looked like a dragon

'Ok. You said that you saw it under his mask. What was he doing?'

I looked at the floor and tried to block out what I was saying so I wouldn't have to think about it. 'He said he was testing me out for his friends. He would touch me… down there and he… he would put his… his stuff in me and it really hurt, but he said he enjoyed the games but I just wanted it to stop.'

' Hey, it's ok. Do you want to take a break. We can take you to get something to eat if you want, Jay won't mind.' I nodded and looked up just enough for the women to see the tears in my eyes. 'It's ok, it's all over now. You're safe. Come here.' Hailey opened her arms for a hug and I walked into them, ignoring the fact that I barely knew this lady. I felt safe around her, and i finally let it all out. I was crying so hard into Hailey 's shoulder that Hailey had to reposition us on the couch so we wouldn't fall over. She was rubbing my back soothingly and whispering words of comfort. 'Can you go get Jay for me. I think we are done for today', Hailey said to Vanessa, who left to find jay. They returned less than 10 seconds later.

'You ready to go home now monkey', jay asked. I nodded and let go of Hailey, only to turn and latch onto Jay. He lifted me up and quickly gave Hailey a kiss before taking me back out to the main area. I buried my face in his neck and it calmed me down a bit. He put me in the back seat of the car and went around to the driver's seat. He started the car and we headed home. I was kind of scared to see how much had changed while I was gone but I was so glad to finally be home. When we pulled up we got out and Jay took my hand.

'Is mouse coming over later.'

Yeah, he's going to help us out a bit.' He unlocked the front door and opened it. It looked almost exactly the same as the last time I saw it, and I was happy about that. One less thing for me to get used to.

'Do you want to go to your room'. I said yes and we went upstairs, first door on the left.

My room was now I left it, the My little Pony set lying on the ground from when I played with it 5 years ago. It was like Jay hadn't even been in here. I sat down on the bed, Jay sat next to me.

'So I was thinking,' he started,' tomorrow I have the day off so we can go shopping and get you some bigger clothes and then we can do whatever you want for the rest of the day.' I nodded.

'Is Hailey your girlfriend,' I asked. Jay nodded. 'can she come shopping with us too.'

'That sounds good, I'll call her later. Do you want to have a shower and I can give you some of my stuff to sleep in tonight.'

NO P.O.V

Jay noticed her face pale when he said this and wondered if he triggered something.

'N...no.. thank you….' she stuttered.

'It's ok, it's just a shower.'

'No.. please no… I'm sorry. I'll be good. Please no shower.' Shit. He had triggered something.

'Look at me. It's me, it's jay. You're okay. You are not there anymore.' Something her eyes changed and she launched herself into Jays arms once again and burst into tears. 'You can talk to me monkey, about anything, ok? I want to help. Did they do something to you in the shower?' She nodded. 'Can you tell me what happened there'. She shook her head. 'That's ok. Just know that whenever you're ready, I can listen.'

He pulled her back slightly so they can rest on her pillows and they fell asleep like that.


	8. TalkAboutIt

When I arrived at Jays place after upton dropped me off I was knocking on the door for like . 5 mins before i decided to screw it and pick the lock. I went inside and dumped my bag. I couldnt smell any food which was weird bacuase they had been home for a while, however it was only 4 o'clock so he disregarded it. I couldnt hear anything either, so I kept moving through the house. As i came to towarsd the stairs I could hear Jay snoring. They must have fallen asleep. I went upstairs to wake Jay up and tell him that I was going to order in some food, but when i got to Avas room I saw Jay on the bed with no Ava. Quickly I went over and woke him up.

NO POV

'Wheres Ava' he asked grogily.

'I was going to ask you that'. Mouse said

They got up and started looking for her. Jay searched the room and Mouse started the rest of the house. They didnt want to call out her name just incsae they spooked her, so they made as little noise possible. Mouse came to the bathroom and saw that the door was locked. He knocked gently and heard nothing.

'Monkey are you in there'

'Please, no' she cried

'It's just me, its mousey. Can jay and me come in.'

'Noo… please no im sorry'

'Ok. we can stay out here' Mouse quickly searched the rest of the house for jay and found him downstairs on the phone. 'Is that Upton' he asked. Jay nodded. 'I found Ava, can you tell her to come over' And with that he ran back to the bathroom. 'You still okay in there monkey?' There was a small sound that sounded like a yes. 'Ok. Haileys coming over, Do you think she can come in?' Another yes. Not 10 minutes later Jay came up the stairs with Hailey on his heels.

'I think you guys should wait down there so that it doesnt scare her'. They left and Upton knocked on the door.

"ava , its Hailey. Can you come out.' there was silence before the door opned and Avas scared eyes were visible through the crack. 'Come here sweetie,' Hailey said, opening her arms, which ava gladly stepped into. Do you want to come with me. I have to quickly run an errand then we can get something to eat.' Ava nodded. They walked down the stairs together and Ava went over to the door while hailey told they boys their plans. 'Anything special you want to eat?' Hailey asked. Ava shrugged, and looked out the window. 'I have some friends I need to visit before we eat, is that ok,' she looked at Hailey with fearful eyes, 'they are really nice I promise and they have a dog you can play with'.

'Okay', she said.

'Awesome'.


	9. Matt

When they arrived at 51, the girls got out of the car just as the trucks were pulling in from the other side of the garage. Ava latching onto Hailey's hand and standing slightly behind her as they walked up the driveway.

AVA'S P.O.V

The men were starting to get out of the trucks, the slamming doors and loud voices making me jump a little and grip Hailey tighter.

'Hey guys' Hailey said when we reached them.

'Hey Hailey, what brings you here' one of the blond guys turned around and said. 'And who's this cuties he said softly crouching down in front of me and smiling.

'This is Ava, Jay's sister. You guys pulled her out of the warehouse this morning'.

'I'm Matt' blondie said, 'how are you feeling now?'

I completely disregarded his question and launched myself at him, giving him a hug. 'Thankyou' I said to him. I could tell Hailey was shocked behind me, so was I. I had known this man for all of 15 seconds before actually touching him. I don't know why I did either. There was just something about him that made me feel safe, like with Hailey. Matt just rubbed my back and all the other firefighters retreated inside, leaving just the three of us.

'Monkey is it alright if i leave you with matt for a bit while i go talk to everyone else'. I thought for a minute, then nodded, deciding that matt was no harm to me. 'I'll be in the conference room if you need me', Hailey said to Matt before joining the others inside. Matt released me from his hold and took my hand instead.

'Do you want to go see my truck" he asked.

'Your truck? Are you in charge?'

'No boden is, i'm just in charge of one truck, 81. And no matter what Kelly says, trucks are alway better than squad'. I liked the guy. He led me over to the truck with the letter on top. It was so shiny.

'Awesome. Can I sit in it'

'Yup' he said. 'Can I give you a boost' I nodded and he lifted me into the front seat. 'Push the big button on the dash'. I pushed it and a loud blast sounded from the horn. I jumped and giggled.

'Where do you sit?' I asked.

'Right where you are'

'Awesome', I jumped down and grabbed his hand.

'Come on I'll show you around', and he led me inside.


	10. SleepOn

20 minutes later i had seen the whole fire house and including meeting the dog and was now lying on Matts bunk in his office with Tuesday while he sat at his desk doing paperwork.

'So.. how come Hailey brought you here?'

'Had a bad dream, Pankicked, so Hailey took me out for something to eat, said we had to visit some people first.' I didn't really want to get into much more detail than that and Matt could tell so he just nodded and continued his work. Eventually I drifted off to sleep.

DREAM:

Rough hands pushed me down onto the bed while two others tied me down. There was a sharp pain in my right cheek. 'Let's have some fun' a voice said above me. Suddenly there were hands coming down all over me, slapping me and ripping off my clothes. I was squirming underneath them, trying to get away from the hard blows.

MATTS POV

Ava was thrashing around in her sleep, so I went and found Upton. She came running back to my office and went to try and wake her up but I grabbed her arm and shook my head.

'Just let her sleep through it' I said.

'Are you nuts' she hissed.

'No. Trust me'

Soon enough Ava stopped movin and went back to sleeping peacefully. Now Matt moved over and gently shook her.

'Hey munchkin Haileys here'. She didn't even flinch when she woke up, just nodded and came over to me.

'You ready to go' Hailey asked. She nodded. 'Ok go say goodbye to Tuesday I'll be out there in a minute.'

'Ok' and she left.

HAILEYS POV

'Why didn't you wake her up?' I asked.

'If I woke her up in the middle of her dream she would have panicked and freaked on me. If we wait she's more likely to be calmer and she will be able to remember', Matt said.

'Why would she want to remember?'

'Because then she can actually process it. Most people who go through this don't want to remember, which makes it harder for them to move on.'

'You're pretty smart' I said.

'I know' he said. I rolled my eyes.

'See you' I left and went to go find Ava. I only made it just outside the bunk room before finding her playing with the dog. 'Let's get something to eat', she nodded and took my hand. We walked past the common room. 'See you guys' I said, and we left the firehouse.


	11. ShutDown

'I ordered some Chinese, Jay said it was your favourite. We can pick it up and go eat in a park or something, whatever you want' I said as we got in the car.Ava nodded. 'Did you have a good time with Matt?' Nodded again. I realised she didn't want to talk right now, she was probably still processing her dream, so I let the conversation fall silent.

After about 20 minutes we had picked up the take away and we were now sitting in a park a few blocks from Jays place eating. Hailey let ava finish her food before starting to speak.

'So…', Hailey started, wanting to tread lightly, 'Can you tell me what happened before i picked you up?' Ava looked down and shook her head. 'Monkey i just want to help you, but i need you to tell me what happened.' She shook her head again. 'Do you think you can tell Jay what happened. Or mouse?' No, again. 'I know you don't want to, but you have to so we can make sure it doesn't happen again. Maybe...it's too hard to say, it might be easier to write it down,' She was now constantly shaking her head, So I stopped.

'Can we just go home? Please…' Hailey nodded and they went back to the car.

They drove in silence and when they got back mouse let them in. Ava pushed past him and went up to her room, slamming the door behind her.

JAYS POV

Ava looked pretty upset when she ran upstairs so he decided to leave it and start with hailey, who sat on the couch with her head in her hands.

'She was fine at the firehouse, then I tried talking to her, and she shut down.'

'It's okay, we can figure it out.' Jay pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. 'It's only been one day, we can work on it. Antonio dropped off some of Evas old clothes so that we don't have to rush into shopping'.

Hailey nodded. 'I think I should go home now, let you guys have some space, you can try talking to her but i don't think she will'.

They hugged one last time before she left. Jay got up to check on Ava, however she met him halfway and almost walked into each other.

'You ok?' He asked.

Ava nodded. 'Can… Can I have a shower?'

'Absolutely' Jay said. 'I'll go grab you a towel'. He brought her back up to a cupboard and grabbed a pink fluffy towel. 'Antonio, one of the guys I work with, has a daughter a few years older than you, and she brought some of your old clothes over for you. I think there were some pyjamas in there so I'll go put them on your bed for you.' Ava nodded and took the towel to the bathroom, before closing the door.

After about 10 minutes, Ava came out with the towel wrapped around her and crossed the halway to her room. She got changed just as Jay knocked on the door.

'Can I come in?'

'Yeah'.

'You Still up for shopping tomorrow?'

'You should go to work'

'Voight, my boss', he corrected himself, 'gave me the day off so we could spend some time together.'

'I just want you to get them'

'The rest of the team can do that while I'm here with you.'

'But you're the one that knows them'

'Did they saw that they knew me'

'They...they said that it was finally time you felt what they felt.. And that it was your fault and you should have listened to them'

Jay was shocked at this new information. He started wracking his brain for he knew that would have a reason to say that, but then again, he disappointed so many people that it could take him hours to remember them all.

'Ok i'll go, but you're going to have to come with me' she nodded.

'I'm gonna go to bed.'

'Ok goodnight monkey' He hugged her and gave her a hug and kiss on the head, before letting her get into bed and turning the light off.


	12. Tattoos

The next morning when Jay woke up, Ava wasn't in her room, so he went downstairs where sure enough she was sitting fully dressed, backpack and shoes on, eating breakfast at the table.

'Hurry up your gonna be late' she said.

'I'll be ready in 10' Jay said. He showered as quickly as possible and dressed before coming back down stairs and finding ava at the door with his phone, keys and wallet.

'Lets go'. They got in the car and started driving.

'Did you sleep alright? Any nightmares?' Jay asked. Ava just shrugged so Jay grabbed her hand and squeezed it comfortingly. 'What have you got in the bag?'

'Math books. Should keep me busy' she said

Jay laughed. 'How are you my sister? You're voluntarily doing math.'

'I want to go back to school. I have to keep up'

'You know you have as much time as you need right? You don't have to rush.'

'I want to be normal so I have to go back to school'

'Avey, you went through something huge. It's going to take time.'

'I've wasted enough time'

The rest of the ride was silent. When they got to the district Platt buzzed them up, giving Ava a wave, and she waved back. They headed up the stairs.

'Hey sarge' Jay said at the top.

'Thought I gave you the day off'. Voight said.

'You did. However this one said no' he motioned to Ava. She offered a small smile and wave, still nervous around the large group of men. 'Ok. you can go in there' Jay said pointing to the break room. 'I'll be out here if you need me'. She nodded and went in, shutting the door.

'Howd last night go?' Hailey asked.

'Don't know, she didn't say much. Just went to bed'

'A Nightmare?'

'Don't know. None that woke me up. I asked her this morning and she just shrugged me off'.

'It's best not to wake her up. Casey told me yesterday.'

'Casey?'

'Yeah I took her to 51, left her with Casey. She had a good time.' Jay nodded.

'So you didn't get any new info?

'No...wait yes. She said I knew them. Their exact words were " it was finally time I felt what they felt.. And that it was my fault and I should have listened to them". But that could narrow it down to about 100. I've pissed off a lot of people.'

'How many of them have dragon tattoos?'Rojas asked.

'What?'

'Ava said the other day that she saw under the mask and one of them had a dragon tattoo.'

Jay thought for a minute. 'Son of a bitch' he whispered.

'What' Voight said.

'Mouse, about 8 years ago, before we went back for our second tour. We went out and got hammered. You went home with the blond and ditched me, you remember?'

'Vaguely'

'I called gibbs and parker after you left and they joined me. That night they got so drunk, they got matching tattoos on their necks of fucking dragons. They have every reason to be pissed at me. And I have an address. Just need Ava to identify them.' Jay finished his rant and looked up at the shocked faces of his team. 'Anyone going move?' Jay asked.

'We can snatch them yet. We need to build a case. She can't identify them because they wore masks so we have to try a different way. We will get them, I promise. It'll just take time.'JAy nodded and slumped back into his chair. 'Tell us everything you know.'


	13. Directions

2 hours later the board was filled with information about Gibbs and Parker, but they still didn't have enough for an arrest warrant.

'Aright, they must have had more than one safe house and they would have moved her between them'

At that moment the break room door opened and Ava came out with the massive textbook she had been working out of. She walked up to Jay and whispered in his ear, 'I'm done'. She leaned back and he raised his eyebrows.

'All of it? That's a big book' She shrugged. 'Can I have a look.' She struggled to lift the large book onto his desk and when she did, Jay looked at the front cover.

'Jesus' He said, 'You do know this is a 12th grade book, right?'

'Year 8 was easy' She said. He was flicking through the pages looking at the complex algorithms and saw that all of them were… right. The whole unit was staring now, intrigued by this overly smart kid.

'How do you know how to do this stuff.'

'There was this really nice lady they used to bring in for me, so I would have a female figure or something. She used to teach me math and stuff.'

'What happened to her?' Jay asked

'Bullet in the head' She said this so calmly and had such a blank expression on her face that it scared some of the people in the room. No one knew what to say to that, so no one spoke. Ava took this as her cue to continue. 'They let me bury her out the back, but they said we had to move because they were making too much noise.'

'Do you know where the first place is'.

'No. but i have directions, I'd just have to do it backwards.'

'Ok then let's do it,' Voight said, jumping in and ending the brother and sister conversation. 'Burgess, Ruzek you take her.'

'What, no I'll take her,' Jay said.

'I Need you here, she will be fine,' said Voight. Ava was holding onto Jay's leg looking terrified. She didn't want to leave Jay to go with these people she didn't know. They worked with Jay, so they couldn't be bad, but she still didn't know them. However it was still better than sitting here listening to Jay yelling at his boss, which he was still doing.

'She already freaked out enough,it's not like she's going to talk if you get her to freak more.' Ava tugged on jays jacket sleeve and he looked down at her.

'I;m fine. I can go'. Jay sighed.

'Fine, but she comes straight back'.

'I need paper and a pen' Jay grabbed it from his desk and handed it to her. She rolled up her sleeve where there were numerous cuts in the shapes of R's and L's and she started copying them onto the paper backwards.

'What the hell', Jay lifted up her arms and examined it.

'Jesus' mouse said when he saw it.

'Why'd you do this,' Jay asked.

'Needed to do something to keep my sanity,' she said as she yanked her arm back and continued writing. She seemed so unfazed by this. Jay looked like he was about to cry. 'Done' she said. Burgess and Ruzek led her down to their rig.

Jay collapsed back into his chair and put his head in his hands.

'Right, we re-run everything' said Voight. 'Noone leaves until we get at least one of them'.


	14. Cheeseburger

AVAS POV

We got in the car and Burgess sat in the back with me.

'Can I take a look at your arm?' She asked. I nodded and moved it over so she could look.

'Do we start at house two' Adam asked. I nodded, which he saw through the mirror.

We arrived at the second warehouse soon after, which was now just a pile of rubble and ash.

'Where do I go from here?'

I proceeded to give lefts and rights until we arrived at warehouse one, where the worst of it happened.

'Is this it,' Burgess asked. I nodded.

'I'll call voight, get some uniforms to sit on it until we find out what to do with it.' Ruzek said. Before pulling out his phone and calling their boss. After he hung up, he asked if we were hungry. Burgess nodded and I shrugged.

'Well there is a new burger place a few blocks from here. We can bring back something for the guys'

'Okay' I said

'Sweet. What do you like on your burgers?'

'I don't know'

'I'll get up the menu so you can decide'. Burgess pulled up the website on her phone and handed it to me. I had no idea there were so many different flaVoured burgers. I found a pretty simple cheeseburger that looked

good.

'Can I have this one'

'Sure,I think we'll get this one that one for everyone else as well.'

We got to the place and went through the drives through. Soon enough, the car was filled with the aroma of cheeseburgers. 'Thank you' I said when rusk handed me mine. We drove back to the district while me and burgess ate in the back. 'This is so good' I said with my mouth full. They laughed. 'You are definitely a Halstead sister.' For the rest of the ride we were all talking and laughing. Now I was pretty comfortable with these guys. When we got back, we dropped Platts food on her desk before heading up stairs. 'We bring lunch,' ruzek said. 'Thank god I'm starving' Antonio said. Burgess and I started handing out burgers. When I was done I gave Jay a hug and whispered a question in his ear, 'Are ruzek and burgess dating'. Jay choked and nearly spat out his coffee. He shook his head laughing and I giggled too. I headed back to the break room giving Adam a high five before closing the door.

JAYS POV

'How'd she go?'

'A little shy in the beginning but the burgers definitely helped.' Ruzek siad. I nodded.

'We got a plan.' Voight said. 'We are going to go dig up the body. We can test for parents and that can get us the warrant. Halstead brings Ava, she needs to show us where it is, you can go home after, well get Fire to dig it up.' Jay nodded and went to the break room, returning with ava and her backpack and meeting Hailey in their car. They got in and drove to the first warehouse.


	15. Digging

AVAS POV:

Arriving at the warehouse, I took a deep breath. I knew I would have to see the actual body, but it still made me sick to think about. Everyone else had arrived now, including truck 81. I was happy to see Matt again, so I gave him a big hug.

'How are you feeling munchkin', he asked.

'Better,' I said.

'You ready', he asked. I nodded and grabbed matts hand before leading him towards the woods near the back of the warehouse. Matt started calling out orders to his crew before we got too far. I looked for my marker, the tree with bullet holes in it, then i took 15 steps forward. I stopped and stepped to the side so I wouldn't be standing on her. I looked at Matt.

'Alright guys start digging,' he called to his truck. 'Come on, we can go back to my truck.'

'No I want to watch,' I said. Matt sighed and sat down next to me on a fallen log and put his arm around me. I rested my head on his shoulder, as we watched the men get to work. Voight cae over.

'You have to answer my questions, then I will leave you alone.' I could tell there was no room for argument so I nodded.

'How did you remember where the body was?' he asked.

'Fifteen steps in from the tree with the bullet holes'

'Do you know how the bullet holes got there'

'Almost escaped, they started shooting'

'Did you get shot?' I nodded. Can i see

I lifted up my shirt just above my right hip where a small scar was visible.

'Did one of them stitch it up?'

'I did'

'You did a good job.' I shrugged

'Okay continuing. Do you think you can take me inside and show me around?' I knew what he meant by that. He wanted me to go inside and tell what happened where.

'N...no'

'It's the quickest way to do this. You can bring Jay with you.'

'No. Not Jay. I can't….. He can't know.' I was on the verge of a panic attack and voight saw it coming.

'Ok no Jay. You can pick someone else.'

I looked at Matt. 'Can you come?'

'Of course', He said.


	16. Memories

Matt and I walked hand in hand towards the warehouse behind voight. I was shaking so badly, and Matt could feel it because he squeezed my hand tighter. It was a little comforting, but not much compared to my internal screaming. Voight pulled opened the door and we went inside. The smell. The smell alone was enough to bring back memories. Voight was talking to me, but I wasn't listening, I was staring straight ahead as it all washed back over me.

_My body was stinging from the slaps from the belt. Someone was kissing my head and touching me in all the wrong places. 'You're gonna be a real good one'. My clothes were torn off and I was left completely naked and vulnerable, lying stretched out and tied up on the mattress. They wasted no time in pushing into me. A white hot searing pain courses through my body and I screamed. The body slammed into me and I felt something tear I cried for hours after that, waiting for the pain to stop. It never did._

I felt the sudden urge to throw up and I did not hesitate in doing so, turning around and releasing the little content in my stomach. Someone behind me pulled my hair out of the way and I flinched. When I finished, I turned back around and saw Matt. 'You ok?' I shook my head.

'Let's get this over with'.

'Alright,' voight spoke up. 'All you have to do is tell me what happened in some of these rooms.

I nodded and pointed to a door ahead. 'That's where they stayed and I assume kept the drugs,' door to the right, 'my room', door to the left, 'that's where I went when I was bad. Is that enough?'

'Yep' Voight said. 'Let's go'.

We started heading out, me behind them. I heard a small squeak. To them it may have seemed like just the old building, however, I had heard that squeak many times before. I grabbed Matt's arm and mouthed, 'their here'. He picked me up and ran to catch up to voight.

'Voight we got a problem' he turned and looked at me. 'We've got at least one offender inside.'

'How do you know?' They both looked at me.

'I heard them' I said

'Talking?'

'No, the floor creaked.'

'This is an only building. It is bound to-'

I cut him off. 'This building has 6 different squeeks. This was theirs.'

'Alright, take her back to the fire house, I'll get Jay to pick her up later'. Matt nodded and grabbed his radio. 'You guys done yet,' he spoke into it.

'Yeah Captain' someone answered. 'Just packing up'.

'Copy'. Intelligence raced towards the warehouse, Jay stopping to tell me he would get me later. I nodded and waved. We got back to the truck just as the team breached the warehouse. 'Hermann, it's your lucky day, you get my seat.' One of the older men climbed over to the front seat and Matt lifted me into the back before climbing in next to me. 'Guys you remember Ava, jays sister. She came to the firehouse the other day.' They all nodded. 'She's coming with us until Jay picks her up.' The guy in the front started up the truck and they started driving. Within 20 or so minutes I was lying on Matt's lap, sleeping.

MATTS POV:

We had almost gotten back to the firehouse when I felt Ava go limp against me. I put my arm around her so she would roll off when we stopped. I was really happy she could sleep. I didn't think she had slept much the last few nights. I felt bad for this kid, she had been through so much at such a young age and she had been so brave tough all of it. I'm glad she was able to trust me and I really hoped I could help her.

Seen enough we pulled up at the fire house, and despite the jerk of the truck and the screeching tires as we stopped, Ava didn't wake up. This was going to be difficult.

'Otis can you pass her down to me once I get out.'

'Got it Captain'. I jumped down and waited for Otis to pass her down. 'If you drop her, I will drop you. Is that clear? I threatened. Otis gulped and nodded. Once I had hold of her again I lead her back into the firehouse. I decided to straight to my office, set her up on my bunk and then I'd go get some food. As carefully as I could, I placed her down and covered her with the blanket. She still didn't move. I smirked. She was about as deep a sleeper as Jay. I went out of the office and left the office slightly ajar so I would be able to hear her if she woke up. Heading towards the common room, i could smell lunch. Possibly Chicken Parmesan. Everyone was already eating when I arrived so I went straight to the kitchen and filled up a plate and take away container. I put the container in the fridge. 'Do not touch this. It is not yours.' I said to the guys, and I left before they could ask any questions. She was still asleep when I got back but she looked more pale and sweaty, however she was hugging the blanket like she was cold. As much as i hated too, I knew I needed to wake her up. I grabbed the bin from under my desk just in case, which was lucky because as soon as I shook her she rolled over and threw up right where he had placed the bin. When she was done she laid back down and shut her eyes again.

'Can one of my friends come and take a look at you. She's one of our paramedics.'

'I just want to sleep.' She tried to roll over the other way but cried out in pain.

'Can you tell me what hurts,'

'Side...' she threw up again. I went to the door, called out for Brett, and came back. 'Ok my friend Sylvie is going to come in and take a look ok.'


	17. Pain

AVAS POV

'Has it ever hurt like this before,' Sylvie asked.

'Yeah, but every time they doped me up pretty quick to shut me up.' I said

'What's this scar from'. She asked.

'Got shot,' I threw up again.

'Ok I think the bullet might be pushing on something in there, I'm going to have to take you to the hospital so they can get a better look.'

'No.'

'Ava it's better for you. They can fix the problem.'

'No. Jays going to be mad'.

'No he won't, he is going to be happy that you will get better.' I nodded. 'Can you walk?' I tried getting up but it hurt too much. I screamed and cried harder. 'Ok I'm going to pick you up.' He lifted me up and I cried even harder if it was possible. 'It's ok we're almost there.' It felt like someone was stabbing me over and other and I was getting really dizzy. He put me down on what I assumed was the stretcher. 'I'm gonna come with you and call Jay ok'.

I was strapped down to the stretcher so I wouldn't fall off but I was about to be sick again so I tried waving my hands around a bit, too scared to open my mouth. He got the message and moved a tray under my nose which I emptied whatever was left in my stomach. Whoever was driving turned on the sirens and I assumed the lights and started driving. Matt pulled out his phone and called Jay's number. I heard it ring and go to voicemail. He tried it again, Voicemail. 'I'll call Mouse, he can get through to him.' he changed to mouse contact. Thankgod he answered.

'We're here', I was pulled out and didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation.

Sylvie and her partner pushed me into a room, followed by a pretty doctor. They gave her a quick run down before taking the stretcher and leaving.

'Hello. I'm Dr Manning, but you may call me natalie. What's your name?'

'Ava. I'm not really in the mood for small talk.'

'Ok. i'm going to take a quick look, do an ultrasound and then we can fix the problem. Have you ever had an ultrasound before?'

'No', it sounded bad.

'Nothing to be afraid of. It doesn't hurt, the gel is just a little cold. Most people say it tickles a little. Basically it will let me see what's going on in there.'

'O..okay'

It was cold and it did tickle.

'Alright so the bullet is poking into your spleen and that is what is causing your pain. We are going to do a surgery to remove it. I promise you won't feel a thing. Do you know if someone is here to stay with you until we are ready?'

'I think Matt is somewhere out there.'

"Casey?'

'I...don't know. He's a firefighter'.

'Yep i know him. I'll go bring him up.' And with that she left me alone. Holy shit I was scared.

About 5 mins later Matt came in and sat next to me and held my hand and talked to me. He was actually a huge comfort and when I went in he told me he would be waiting for me when I got out with Jay.

There was a mask placed on my face and I was told to count backwards from 10.

I got to 7 before everything went black.


	18. GotHim

The team started spreading out through the warehouse. I didn't find anything so I took my place behind my assigned wall. I'm pretty sure Voight chose this one for me because he didn't think my head was screwed on straight and he didn't want me in the way, he was probably right.

'Chicago pd don't move,' I heard Adam yell. Whoever it was didn't stop because seconds later I heard 'damn it' then my radio came to life.

'5021 Ida, offender is fleeing on foot. White male, mid 30's. He's wearing a grey jacket. Halstead he's coming to you.' I was so ready to smash whoever it was' face in, so I waited, ready to move, behind the wall. I waited until the person got past the wall before jumping on him and pinning him to the ground. I started swinging my fists and punching him wherever I could reach. I let out all the anger, and it felt good.

'You sick shit.' I yelled at Gibbs. 'How could you do that to her?'

I felt hands trying to pull me off of him but I kept swinging, until I was dragged completely off him and guided outside. I realised the hands pushing me were Haileys. Damn she was strong.

We need him alive for a confession and to find parker.' She said. 'You can have at him after that'.

'Fine'.

'Hey i know you. I know you can't deal with something unless you get your feelings out. So if you want to cry, go ahead, if you want to hit something I will drop you at Antonio's gym, if you want to talk I'm here.'

'I'm fine. I'm just worried about Ava.'

By now the whole team had gathered outside, the patrol car having taken Gibbs to the station.

'Bullshit your fine. Your sister has been missing for five years, and I know you blame yourself for it, which you shouldn't. Ava is then found, has been through a traumatic experience and you don't know how to help her. I can tell you haven't slept in ages and I know you're not taking care of yourself properly. So don't you go telling your fine. Just for once tell me exactly what you're thinking and feeling. I want to help you.'

'You want to know how I'm feeling. Alright here we go. Yes I blame myself because if I hadn't taken the sleeping pills I would have woke up and I could have saved her, but no, I can't deal with my problems so I took the easy way with the pills. Now I don't know how to help my extremely traumatized sister, who I have raised since she was 3. I don't even know who she is anymore. No I haven't been sleeping because she wakes up every hour with a nightmare and I have no idea what i'm supposed to do to help her. She won't talk to me, at the moment I think she trusts Casey more than me. So yeah, that's how I'm feeling. Is that what you want to hear?' I yelled.

I don't even know why I was yelling she was trying to help me. And now that i've said it, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Hailey looked unaffected by it. Everyone else looked taken aback by my outburst. My phone buzzed and I saw a message from Mouse. 'And now I'm going to med'. I left before anyone could speak or question me leaving. I walked to where I parked my truck and drove off. Mouse didn't exactly specify what happened, only that Casey had been calling me for the last half an hour, however I could only assume it was an original injury with a complication.

NOBODY POV

'What happened', Jay asked when he saw Matt.

'She was shot by one of the guys when she first tried to escape. She said she had been having this pain before but they drugged her up pretty quickly so she would be quiet. The bullet is pressing against her spleen. They took her into surgery to get it out', Matt answered.

'Thankyou for taking care of her. I'm glad she has someone other than me and Mouse.'

'Anytime man. She's a great kid.'

'Yeah, she is.' Both men sat in silence until Natalie came into the waiting room an hour or so later.

'Surgery went well, she's back in her room, you can go see her.' Jay stood up and went to sit with her after Casey promised he would fill in the Intelligence for him.

When I got to her room I pulled up the chair from the corner and dragged it next to her bed. I grabbed her hand and waited. And being a halstead, waiting was hard.


	19. Notachapter

Hi guys.

First of all I would like to thank you for the continued support I recieved with this story. This is my first fanfiction so it makes me happy that you guys are enjoying it. I recently have seen a comment from one of you about 2 of my chapters being the same. Thankyou for letting me know️. While I was changing that I realised that I have uploaded the last few chapters in the wrong order so I removed them from the story and will re upload tonight. Also I would li,e to know if any of you have some ideas for this story. Any advice would also be really helpful because I want to make sure you guys can continue to enjoy this story. Thankyou so much for your time, sorry this update isn't a chapter.

-Maddie


	20. Tears

AVAS POV

There was a dull throb in my side and a constant beeping coming from somewhere near me. That high pitched little squeak worsened the headache I somehow had. I tried opening my eyes but it was so bright they shut almost immediately. Getting my eyes used to the light, I opened them fully and saw a white ceiling. Where the hell was I. The beeping got faster as I started to panic. Then I saw Jay sleeping in the chair beside me and I calmed down and the beeping slowed.

'Jay' I whispered. He didn't move so I tried leaning over to poke him. Mistake. It hurt like hell. My cry of 'ow' woke Jay up though.

'Hey. How are you feeling,' Jay asked.

'Like shit', I said.

'Language'.

'Why didn't you tell me you got shot.'

'It wasn't important. And you never asked.'

'You told Matt and Voight.'

'They asked'

'I want you to be able to tell me stuff. I don't know what to ask, you have to tell me.'

'Well, i don't want to talk about it.'

'You are definitely my sister. I hate talking about my feelings and stuff too. However it helps. As much as you don't want to do it, it's better for you.'

'Oh well.' I just rolled over and tried to go back to sleep, ignoring the huge pain it caused to move. I didn't want to have this conversation. I didn't want to talk about what happened. That made it more real. I don't care if talking would have stopped the nightmares or the flashbacks, I could deal with those, I just wouldn't sleep. I hated this so much. I wish none of it ever happened but I know I can't change it and I have to live with the consequences. I tried not thinking about it, but trying to ignore it just brought it further forward in my mind. Just the thought of telling Jay made me tear up and I tried to push it back down. If I cried, it would show Jay I couldn't deal with and he would make me talk about it. I realised these tears were coming out and I couldn't stop them.

As they started rolling down my face I moved my hand slightly to wipe them away, but Jay noticed.

It's ok, you don't have to talk about it now,' He was trying to comfort me but I didn't want it.

'Please get out,' I half cried.

'Ava..'

'Just leave me alone.' I was now openly crying and I just didn't care. I didn't care about anything.

He got up and left, closing the door behind him. I sobbed into the pillow. I guess I was only just starting to process everything. And I was not enjoying it. I didn't want to process it. I wanted to push it deep down and never ever think about it ever again.

Too bad that wasn't going to happen.


	21. Strategy

Jays POV

Leaving Ava's room I sighed. I failed. All I wanted to do was let her know she could talk to me and she just pushed me away. I know what happened next. She will completely shut down and no one will be able to help her, and she will dig herself into a hole of depression that no one could save her from.

I managed to find my way back to the waiting room without realising it, hoping that CAsey would still be there and he could try and talk to her about it.

Not only was he there, so was the whole unit.

'And?' Hailey asked.

'Shes fine. Physically',

'Physically?'

'I tried to get her to talk to me and she kicked me out. She's already shut down and I don't know what to do. Casey she trusts you more than me, you can go ahead and try.'

'I'll try, but not because she trusts me more. Think about it, how long have you raised her by yourself for?'

'Since she was 3'

'And before that, who was the main male role model for her in your house?'

'Me'

'It's not that she doesn't trust you, but you're basically her dad. You are the most important person in the world to her at the moment and she thinks that if she tells you anything, you will leave her and she will be alone again.' That kind of made sense. 'She also thinks talking about it makes it real. When she talks about it, she has to re imagine it all and that's not exactly a pleasant experience for her. Her idea is that if she doesn't talk or think about it, it will all go away and she can move on.'

'Told you he was smart,' Haley said.

'thank you. Can you please talk to her?'

'I don't think she will talk right now but I have a better idea.'

When Casey got up and left Jay collapsed in his seat.

'We all have your back Jay. Whatever you need.' Voight said.

'that's the thing. I only need one thing. And that's for her to be ok, but I don't know how you can do that.'

MATTS POV:

'AVa can I come in?' I knocked on the door to her room.

'No' I could hear her sniffle.

'Too bad.' I opened the door.

'Why would you bother asking if you're going to come in anyway.'

'Its polite' she scoffed.

'Did Jay send you in here to talk to me because i'm not going to talk. You can leave now.' She turned her head so he wasn't looking at me.'

'I've heard you are a good student, you are doing grade 12 math. That's good and all, but if you want to go back to school, you need to pass a psych evaluation, basically where someone will asked you super hard questions that you don't want to answer, but if you really want to get back to where you were in life, you have to answer and be able to see a positive. You have to tell them everything, and the worst part is, they can see right through you. They know exactly when you are lying or leaving something out because you don't want to think about it.'

That was honestly my best shot, that was really all I had on her.

'That doesn't bother me. I can learn on my own. There's something called google.'

'However, you said it yourself. You want to be normal. Normal kids go to school and have friends. They talk to their siblings and they tell about everything. You on the other hand, do not go to school, and have zero friends, And you wont talk to your brother. So how are you planning on becoming a normal kid? I get it. Something bad happened. It sucks. But the world moves on. Everyone moves on, except you. Eventually you get stuck in the past because you refused to properly move on. What happened becomes a part of your life and you will think about it every day.' My plan was working. I could see she was getting agitated and if she was anything like Jay, she would burst any minute. 'I dont get what your so afraid of. In the end, this will become a distant memory for you, and you could have such a great life, with family and friends. You could have a good education, get a good job, and be really happy with your life. Instead you choose to wrap yourself in a bubble and block out everyone that cares about you and that can help you.'

That was it, I got her. She was crying and ready to blow.

'For such a smart kid, thats a preetty stupid move.'

'Do you think I want to push him away. I dont, I love him. He means everything to me. If I tell him he wont want anything to do with me and then I will have no one. He will be disgusted by me. Im disgusted by me. Of course i want to be normal, thats what ive wanted for the last 5 years of my life. I want to have friends and I want to go to school but I cant do that can I? Because everything I see takes me straight back there. How am I supposed to be normal. I gave up on that. Every man I look at, all I can see is what they did to me. And I hate it. I dont refuse to move on. I cant. I dont kow how. Evryone says the best way is to talk about it, but when I talk about it, I see it all again and I cant do taht. Each time i have tried to talk about it, i want to be sick. I hate what they made me.'

She yelled so loud that im pretty sure the other side of chicago could here it. When she was done she cried harder so I went and sat next to her on the bed and wrapped her in my arms. When she calmed down a good 20 minutes later I moved back a little.

'How did that feel', I asked.

'That actually helped,' She said.

'All you have to do is tell Jay exactly what you told me,' I said. 'Without the yelling.'

'I cant. Hes going to make me tell him everything and Im not ready to do that.'

'Then tell him that. He only wanst whats best for you. And so if you say your not ready, he will respect that.'

She nodded.

'Im going to go get him, But I have to go back to the fire house. Im still technically on shift.'

'Thankyou.'

'Always' I got up and left.


	22. Strategy (04-09 07:07:34)

The waiting room was only a few rooms down from Avas and so we were able to hear him yelling through the walls. I had half a mind to go in there and pull Casey out for upsetting her, but then I saw Hailey smirking.

'What's so funny?' I asked

'I don't know how he Knows my special strategy', she answered.

'There is no strategy here. He is literally yelling at her',

'Nope'

'How is that not what's happening'

'Remember before the mouse called I got you to tell me your feelings, even though you didn't want me too?'

'Yeah'

'And how did I do that'

'You yelled… until I got so pissed at you I yelled back'

'I'm going to assume that runs in the family'

'Nicely done'

The pitch of the yelling got higher and I realised that Ava was yelling now. Damn it worked. I honestly owe Casey a six pack of beer. He has been so helpful to me.

Soon the yelling stopped but Casey didn't come out, so I assumed they were talking it out normally. After about half an hour of silence, Casey finally appeared.

'She's all yours'

'Where are you going'

'Firehouse. I'm still on shift'

'Thank you man, really'

'No problem'

When he left I got up and turned to everyone else.

'Thanks guys, but you can go. She's not going home tonight which means i'm not coming back for a while.

They all nodded and left. I went to go talk to Ava.


	23. Talking

AVAS POV

I was kind of nervous to talk to Jay. What sister is scared of her older brother? I thought he might get mad if I told him I wasn't ready to talk, or he would get mad at me for kicking him out. I realised I was breathing a little heavier and tried to calm down a bit before Jay got here. Didn't really have 2 minutes before there was a knock on the door and jay came in.

'I'm sorry' Is said. I figured it would be easier to start with that, maybe it would make him less mad. But he didn't look mad. He looked... calm.

'I know, it's ok. I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you.' He said

'Can we just not talk about it now. I kinda just want to go to sleep.'

'Of course'. He sat in the chair next to me.

'Can...can you come in here?' I motioned to the bed next to me. I just needed to have some contact so that I would think that it was ok, that he wasn't leaving.

'Absolutely.' He carefully moved himself under the cover and I tucked myself into him.

JAYS POV

The next morning, when I woke up, Ava was still asleep next to me. I was grateful for that, because I realised that meant that she had actually slept through the night without a nightmare. I lay in the bed with her for a while before a nurse came in with her discharge papers.

'She needs to take it easy for the next few days. In two weeks she will need to come back and get the stitches out.' I thanked her and signed the papers then she left. Ava started to wake up.

'Good morning. We can go home today. I'm pretty sure the mouse missed us. Who knows what mess he created while we were gone.'

I smiled at that thought. Mouse had never been good on his own. He was always looking for something to do.

I got changed into the spare clothes that someone had brought in for me. And we headed out front.

When we got home, there was a note from the mouse taped to the fridge that said, 'Voight called me in, be back later.'

'Oh well we've got the place to ourselves. What do you want to do?' Jay asked. I shrugged. I didn't really want to do anything, just sleep.

'Can we watch a movie?'.

I picked a movie while Jay made some popcorn and hot chocolate. We sat down on the couch together and started the movie.

I was looking at the screen, but not really watching it. Jay could feel that and so he paused the movie, and adjusted himself so that he was looking at me.

'What are you thinking about?' He asked.

'Are you mad?'I decided to spit it out, before I could think too much more about it.

'No. Why would I be mad?'

I shrugged. To be honest, I didn't really know why he would be mad, I just felt like he was.

'I'm not going to force you to talk, however, I...strongly advise that you do' he said.

That night, Ava fell asleep on the couch with Jay, with his arms wrapped protectively around her.


	24. Firstday

At the precinct they didn't have a case and so everyone was catching up on paperwork, while ava alternated between the spare desk and the break room. She was so restless, she kept pacing and watching the clock.

'I swear to god i'm am going to lose my mind if this doesn't speed up.' She said to no one in particular.

'Maybe if you stop concentrating on it, it might speed up?' Hailey said.

'I have never seen a kid so excited to go to school. There is something wrong with this one.' Kevin said. Ava poked her tongue at him.

'I still have to drag Eva and Diego out of bed, I wish they were this easy.' Antonio said.

AVAS POV

Finally the clock above the breakroom door showed 8:15 meaning the bus would arrive outside the precinct in 5 minutes. I started to pack up my stuff.

'See ya later' I said heading for the stairs.

'Hold up' Jays said. I turned to face him but kept walking backwards slowly. 'Remember if you want to come home you can either call me or get a teacher to do it. You don't have to stay the whole day'.

'Goodbye Jay' I said, starting to turn back towards the stairs. Make sure you get the bus back here after school, I won't be at home.' He called over to the stairs I was descending.

The closer to the bus stop I got, the more nervous I got, and the more my hands started shaking. I shoved them in my jacket pockets hoping that it would stop. Crossing the road I sat down at the bus stop and looked across the street at the district. Sure enough, I could see Jay looking out the window at me. I rolled my eyes.

He wasn't going to let me out of his sight until he had no choice.

As I sat there I began thinking. I realised I hadn't really thought this through. The stares I would get. The whispers. I realised that they hadn't seen me in 5 years, and had no idea what happened, and now suddenly I turned up back at school with zero explanation.

The bus arrived interrupting my thoughts.

I got on and thank god there was no one else on it. I walked to a seat close to the back and pulled my hoodie over my head, half covering my face. If anyone got on hopefully they wouldn't recognise me.

Thankfully for most of the ride the bus remained almost empty. Only in the last few stops did some people get on but not enough for anyone to have to sit near me.

The bus pulled up to the stop opposite the school. My hands were still shaking. I started wondering if jay was right, that it was too soon.

No. Snap out of it.

I hated admitting jay was right and so I did it as little as possible. This was not going to be one of those times.

I got off the bus and got shoved into the crowd of students crossing the road towards the school. I was thankful for that. I didn't need anyone talking to me before I got into the gates where I could change my mind.

I looked at the watch Jay had bought me. 8:25. I needed to meet my year master in her office at 8:30, where she would get a student in my class to take me around. God I hoped they were nice. Walking swiftly to the room I had been showed in my tour and knocked on the door.

It opened to reveal Ms Browns smiling face.

'Hello Ava, come on in, there is a student on their way right now.' She led me into the couch she had in her office and we both sat down. 'Ok so, your brother has asked me to remind you that it is ok if you change your mind at any time during the day. And if you need a break you are more than welcome to sit in here for as long as you need.'

'Thankyou Ms Brown, but I'm fine, really. Jay worries too much.'

A knock on the door interrupted us. 'That should be him.' She said standing up and opening the door.

'Hi, Ms Brown, is the new kid here yet?' I knew that voice. No doubt about it. That was the voice I had grown up listening to since I was in diapers.


	25. 25

AVAS POV

In Front of me stood Jimmy, my best friend.

I think Ms Brown knew that we would need a little reunion so she didn't come back to the room.

'H..hi' I said. What the hell. How was I so nervous with my bestie. I guess it had been a little while… ok, a long while, since we last saw each other, or the fact that Jimmy was staring at me like I had three heads. 'Please move, or speak, or… or anything, maybe blinking, that might be a good start, I-'

I was cut off when he basically jumped on me and wrapped me in a hug.

'You're ok?' He said, but with a little bit of question as if he was confirming it.

'I am ok,' I said. 'However if you try the over protective best friend thing I swear I will not be ok and I will slap you. Trust me Jays got the protective thing down pat. I had to beg to come to school today.'

'I guess you're still you, way too eager to be at school than any normal kid.'

'That's what Kevin said,' he frowned at me. 'Sorry, one of the guys my brother works with.'

'Right' he said. 'Alright we can definitely talk more later however we have to get to math, we have a double, and we re going to be late. And I do not want o ruin this model student thing I have going.'

I gave him a little shove as we walked. 'Sure. You a model student? As if that would ever happen. What's our math teacher's name?' I asked him.

'Ms Ley. She's really good, very nice as well' he said. 'You are sitting with me in all classes, so try not to show off too much. I kinda built a reputation as super smart, can't have the new kid coming in and ruining it for me'

I smiled. I was so ready to out smart him. That's what primary school was like. Us competing against each other for The better trade and constantly teasing the loser, but in a friendly way.


End file.
